You want to play the dozens? Huh? Here we go. There was an error at the hospital, you died at birth, your turn. --David Mamet, Heist

The Reader will be participating in a "put down insult tournament" hosted by Schadenfreude against representatives of Gapers Block, Time Out Chicago, and Chicagoist, tonight at 8:30 at the Gallery Cabaret in Bucktown. Support your favorite independent media outlet or branch of the Time Out empire by shouting "OHHHH" a lot. It'll be kind of like this, but without beats.